Monday, September 29, 2008

Roger

I have been debating in my head if I should or shouldn't write the following post. My heart is full and so I feel like I have to write some things down so that I remember them. My dear friend Roger Coltharp passed away earlier today-suddenly from a heartattack. A friend of mine in Utah called me with the news. I still can't really wrap my mind around the fact that he is gone, it breaks my heart.

Roger was one of my closest friends and a wonderful friend to our family. I first met Roger in January of 2004 when I began teaching biology labs at UVSC. He was such a caring and happy man-a wonderful example to me. He used to take me out to breakfast when I had the dreaded 7am lab-I only say dreaded because for me it was soooo early but for him he was already at work (usually by 6am)ready to start the day-with a smile no less. When I didn't go to breakfast with him he would always bring me back a piece of bacon and share his food with me-even if I really didn't plan on eating. When I was pregnant with Dallin, Roger was probably the first person I told-besides Scott. I didn't know how I would feel those first months so I felt like I should tell him in case I was too ill to teach the lab. He took care of me during those first few months when I was nauseated-teaching me where the big bean bags were in the student center so that I could lie down and rest. He would then come back by and wake me up or at least make sure I was awake for my next lab. Him and his wife Karla were probably the first people to visit us in the hospital (beside family members) when Dallin was born. And Dallin just loves him! He would always get so excited when we were going to Roger's house or if Roger came by the office.

Roger was responsible for getting me the biology lab manager position. I remember him telling me that he had set it up so that they (UVSC) would have to hire me-and it worked out. We switched positions-I worked full time and he picked up the Adjunct load. We spent a lot of time together that first semester-him teaching me how to prep the labs, on his own time, he received no extra money for helping me, he simply did it because it was his nature to be a good friend. It was Roger and Karla's patience and hard work that allowed us to buy a town home in Provo. They also were always so generous to our family and to the "family at UVSC". They would invite us over for bbq meals-not hot dogs and hamburgers, oh no, we are talking steak and chicken and potatoes with bacon in them. When I got pregnant with Evan and once I had him, Roger told me not to worry about his lab, that he would just prep his own lab and get his own material. He made my job easy. He also was one of the first visitors we had when Evan was born. He met both of my boys when they were only days old.

Roger was one of my best friends. I looked up to him and admired his happy attitude and his generosity to others. We would sit for hours and just talk, telling stories and the things that were going on in our lives. He loved our little family so much...for that I will be eternally grateful. I remember that when we were moving from Provo things were so crazy-the move, house selling, house buying, training a new lab manager that I didn't get to really say goodbye to Roger. So the day we were leaving I called him on the phone and all I could tell him was "you and your family have been a blessing in our family's life..." and then I began to cry. I told him I couldn't talk to him anymore (because I was crying) and I handed the phone to Scott. A few days later he called me and we chatted like old times. I will miss my dear friend Roger, he touched my life in so many wonderful ways. My love and thoughts turn to his wonderful family, I pray for them in this time of sorrow. I am so grateful for the gospel and the plan of salvation that tells me that I will see Roger again. Thank you Roger for your friendship and your love-you will be greatly missed.

12 comments:

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry you lost your friend. Sounds like you had some wonderful experiences and good memories. Good friends mean so much to me especially when they offer kindness during difficult times.

The Valentine Fam said...

Oh my goodness. That just made me teary eyed. I loved working with that man. He really was happy all the time and had a way of brightening my dad, every day! He really will be missed. Thanks for posting. I probably wouldn't have know if you hadn't posted.

The Valentine Fam said...

I meant 'day'!

Mom/Grandma Perry said...

Oh, April, I'm so sorry to hear this news. I know how much he meant to you. He was a wonderful man and friend to you, Scott and the boys. I really liked him and his wife when we met while you were looking for a house in Provo. Thank goodness for the Gospel and the opportunity you'll have to see him again. I love you and thanks for sharing you memories and feelings for this special man.

AJsGirls said...

I am so sad for you April. I remember going to his house when I was visiting you in Provo. He and his wife really were so very kind. You and his family are in our prayers.

Perry Bunch said...

Scott & April I am so sorry for your lost. I know Roger was so good to you guys. You always talked in so highly of him.

love you guys

Great-Grandma said...

Sweet April - I know you feel the loss as if it were your own family and in many ways I'm sure he was. It is knowing that he will be seen again that keeps us all going. He was here and in your life for a purpose and that purpose has been satisified. He has a calling with Heavenly Father now and will make many more people feel complete. God Bless you and his family.

Melissa said...

I am sorry. I know there is nothing that will take away the pain you feel right now, I can understand more than you know :) Remember this life is but a moment and you will have an eternity to be with your friends. Let me know if I can do anything for you.

Ed said...

I feel the same with you about Roger even though I don't know you. I only met Roger about six months ago and stayed at his place because I had to take an exam in Salt Lake. He was the most thoughtful and caring person I have ever met. Grant it, I only knew him for 30 days but this man has impressed me deeply. The stuff he has done for the people around him is very commendable and he will be sorely missed by everyone that knew him and worked with him... What a loss...

ckkg said...

i seriously about fell off my chair when i found out yesterday. and then i had a good cry. isn't it amazing the impact that one person can have on so many people? i remember that he truly was one of the first people who welcomed me so warmly when i started at uvsc. i loved how he would come and sit and chat and eat candy with me. my heart is so sad for all of us to not have the pleasure of his company. what an amazing person this world has lost and the next has gained. thanks for sharing.

cassie and scott said...

I knew you and Roger were close, but I didn't realize how close you guys were. It really was different working in the lab the next day, walking in to see Mellisa teaching his lab...and how quiet it was in the lab. I caught myself a couple of times, hearing someone walk into the lab and expecting to see Roger's smiling face. It really won't be the same without him.

Rich said...

Hi April, This is Laura Oaks. We saw your blog and want to let you know how much you meant to Roger. He talked about you all the time and was sad when he didn't get to see you everyday. We prepared an email of the obituary to circulate by email because we were unable to get it in the newspaper in Vernal. If you send me your email address I would love to send you one as well. My email is lauraboaks@yahoo.com.